Faking news: Mayor Brown lauded for efficiency after racist "joke"
Mayor Wayne Brown has doubled down on productivity.
“In a city like Auckland, time is limited," says one insider close to the mayor.
(Faking news is a fiction column based off unreal adventures of real people. For this one, we look at the latest exploits of Auckland mayor)
Auckland Mayor Wayne Brown is being quietly applauded in some circles this week for what supporters are calling a “streamlined approach” to Auckland’s diversity, after a brief but memorable exchange at an RNZ studio.
Arriving for an interview in Auckland on April 21, Brown was greeted by a staff member who apologised for a short wait and mentioned security in the building.
The mayor responded with what he later described as a “fumbled attempt at humour”. “Security can’t be very tight if we’re being escorted by a Muslim terrorist,” he remarked, before also commenting on the man’s beard.
The staff member was shocked. Brown said he was joking. An apology followed soon after. Which is where things got interesting.
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“I have always made it clear that I have great respect and admiration for our Muslim, Sikh and Indian communities here in Auckland,” Brown told RNZ later, covering three groups in one go.
Sources close to the mayor say this was no accident.
“In a city like Auckland, time is limited,” one insider said. “You can’t be expected to identify everyone correctly on the spot. The mayor prefers a more inclusive approach. He acknowledges multiple communities at once. It’s efficient.”
Officials are now said to be considering a formal policy shift toward what’s being described as “broad-spectrum cultural recognition”.
Under the proposal, public figures would no longer need to distinguish between identities in real time. Instead, they would be encouraged to make a confident initial guess, follow it up with a wider list in the apology and trust that, statistically, one of them will land.
Advocates say the approach reflects the realities of modern Auckland.
“This is one of the most diverse cities in the world,” said a council source. “We’ve got Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus, Christians, Indians, Pakistanis – you name it. At some point, you’ve just got to cover your bases.”
Early drafts of the policy reportedly include helpful templates such as: “I sincerely apologise and have great respect for all communities, including but not limited to Muslim, Sikh, Indian, and others as applicable”.
Critics, however, say the approach risks blurring important distinctions. Supporters disagree.
“The goal is unity,” said one backer. “If you start getting too specific, you risk leaving someone out. This way, everyone is included. Eventually.”
Brown has not commented on whether he will adopt the policy formally, but allies say his actions this week already show what “inclusive leadership” can look like in practice.
At press time, officials confirmed the mayor remains committed to representing every Aucklander, ideally all at once.
